Goof’s Guide… I Hate You, and That’s Okay

I hate you. Lord, how I hate you. You’re everything I despise.

You’re insanely repetitive.

You’re unfair.

You tear families apart.

And you give people like me a bad name.

If I never play another game of you in my life it’ll be too soon.

Monopoly. Bah. Yuck. Ew. Other words of disgust.

There are games out there I simply won’t play ever again (although I hesitate to call that boredom simulator a game). The list is actually quite few. But Monopoly sits at the top of the list highlighted in neon.

Honestly, if you like Monopoly there’s something wrong with you. BUT WAIT. It’s okay. There’s something wrong with me too (a different something. In case it wasn’t clear, I hate Monopoly).

One of my favourite comedians, Dara O’Briain once said about music snobbery “oh you like those sorts of noises? Well they’re the wrong sorts of noises.” And it opened my eyes to something all those years ago.


“Oh you like rolling dice and moving plastic across the table in that sort of way? Well that’s the wrong sort of way to roll dice and move plastic!” (Doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily, I’ll admit).

Goof at a rally

Goof at a rally

I realise it’s a bit of an odd statement coming from a website I plaster my opinions across multiple times a week. But it’s never my intention to tell you you’re wrong for liking a game I don’t. It’s to objectively tell you why you’re wrong until you change your opinion.

I kid.

I analyse things, always have. And I find rationalising the world around me to be a comfort. My own way of interacting in my existence if you will. And when I have such a passion for something like board games it’s of course going to become a focus. The fact my analysis can be beneficial and even enjoyable to others is just a bonus. And having you interact with me and even read my articles is fun! (Not to mention a bit humbling).

Within the Board Game community, there are so many different subsects. Miniature Gamers, CCG Gamers, War Gamers, Classic Gamers, *insert your preference* Gamers. From the outside people seem to lump all of us in together, which happens in every community people don’t really understand. Internally, we divide ourselves so we can group off and game. But we need to be careful. I have seen people rank and discriminate against gamers who don’t fit into their favourite subgroup.

Dividing ourselves serves a purpose, as most categorising (or schemas) does for human psychology. In this case it allows us to recognise specific types of games we like to play in an ever growing and diversifying industry. But it can also bring about with it an inherent negativity which I’ve always valued the tabletop community for avoiding at large.

Arin Hanson from the Let’s Play series Game Grumps once mentioned if you like something I don’t, you have one more thing in the world you like than me (I didn’t look the quote up so I’m probably slightly off but you get the point). There’s something beautiful about this sort of world view. For example, I’m not into Classic board games. But I’ve seen a few Instagram accounts dedicated to them. And while I responded at first with a bit of an eye roll, I caught myself and tried to see why they would enjoy those games. My thoughts included thinking about the history of board games, the simplicity of less complicated mechanics, the nostalgia of family games of a different time. On those grounds I can see why they’d love it. It’s just not for me. And rather than the initial arrogant douchebaggery, I felt happy for them. And a little sad I couldn’t enjoy them the way they did.


The advice in today’s guide is simply this: don’t look down on other gamers. Embrace them on their terms. Maybe even try a few games you haven’t before or try and see the good in a game you don’t like. In Monopoly… I like playing the car… yep… look I’m not the Gandhi of Gaming. I’m trying.

People are always going to have different tastes, and we need to learn to accept that. Does this mean I’m not going to add a little gravitas to my twirl of frustration and roll my eyes into the back of my head when someone tries to get me to play Monopoly? Hell no! I am, after all, an entertainer, darling. And I will gladly engage in discussion and debate on topics of boardgamership. Just know I mean no ill will towards you just because you enjoy a game I don’t.

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Please comment, lets get the conversation flowing!

2 Comments on "Goof’s Guide… I Hate You, and That’s Okay"

  1. One of your sisters | October 23, 2017 at 5:34 am | Reply

    Every time I come to your house from now on, I will try to get you to play Monopoly. You’re welcome.

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