Goof’s Guide… Alcohol’s Worst Mixer

I remember this one time (at band camp) I invited a couple friends round to play Arkham Horror.

“Hey man, come play Arkham Horror with a group of us”

“Sure man, I’ll bring the grog”

“Ummm…okay I guess. But it’s kinda a thinky game”

We didn’t get through two turns.

I want to emphasise it wasn’t due to a lack of trying (by most of us) but one or two of us at the table ended up as tipped cows and it just made the whole mess more frustrating than Cthulhu devouring you from an encounter card.

As far as alcoholic mixers go, gaming isn’t one of them.

Games require you to use your brain. I’m sure there’s a few of you out there who can have a beer to relax while getting into the gaming spirit (pun intended). But whenever I see someone bring alcohol to the table I immediately get uncomfortable. There’s a reason Mountain Dew is the drink of roleplayers.


“Leeeeeshhh gets our drinksh on!…”

I’m not saying I don’t like alcohol (I’m Australian). But there’s a time and place. At a party? You’ll probably not see me without a drink in hand. At the game table? Same. Except without the Southern Comfort.

Look, I know this week is more of an opinion piece. Some of you out there are going to disagree (good. Go yell at me in the comment section and let’s get this debate going!) but I want you to hear me out.

Try and do a math puzzle. Now try and do it while hammered. Do you have any idea how many board games involve math? Even simple math? I did the math. It’s like… a lot.

It's true. The figures speak for themselves

“It’s true. The figures speak for themselves”

When you think about the distractions at a games table: people not focusing, people being indecisive, people distracting others with unrelated topics. Alcohol amplifies all that.

I am going to add a caveat here, I know of one game which gets better with alcohol – Cards Against Humanity. The game requires you to be rude, lower your morals and be forgiving with punctuation and sentence structure. Alcohol amplifies all that too.

"Oh CAH. You just get me!"

“Oh CAH. You just get me!”

While there may be other party games out there which have a similar effect (I should probably review more party games), my advice would be to play the games sober first. Know what type of drunk you are, and work out the correct ratio of sloshedness to gameplay you’re going to need.

Alcohol is a serious hobby, just like gaming. So be smart about combining the two. In most cases its like combining clay pigeon shooting with carrier pigeon racing, they happen to work against each other in some pretty horrific ways.

If you enjoyed this then share the joy on social media so others can enjoy it too. And check out our other articles. They’re always good for a laugh.

Please comment, lets get the conversations flowing!



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